A white palomino appaloosa with baby blue eyes. She was just a filly. I decided to name her Tinker Bell. She was as perfect as I wished. A day did not go by that I didn't work with her. I halter broke her, and I also was working on having her pick up her feet so she could be shod or trimmed. I loved Tinker Bell most of all because she was different, like me.

Then there came a tall man, about 5'10" with brown eyes and dark brown sandy hair.  He was an ex-cop.  Now he was learning to be a cowboy.  He was training my mom's horse.  The horse was short, but beautiful.  He was a quarter horse with a golden shiny coat and a long black mane that blew in the wind like black dust. The quarter horse had to have special shoes so the trainer hired his shoer. The trainer told us he was the best of  all the shoers he knew.

When the shoer, ''Mike,'' came to the door, there is something I will never forget about him.  It was that dark look in his eyes. He even had  white speckles in his eyes, like diamonds dancing. The shoer got started shoeing my mom's horse.  He tied a rope around the horse's neck then the other half of rope went around his left leg. We found out later Mike could have of broken the horse's neck and killed him. It took him two long hours to shoe my mom's horse.

Then he looked over with those demon eyes at little Tinker Bell playing with a blue horse ball, with her long white angel hair blowing in the soft-spoken wind. As she played with her ball, Mike said her hooves looked long and he said, "I think it would be smart if I trimmed her feet."

I thought since Tinker Bell didn't know Mike and he hadn't worked with her I thought it wouldn't be so smart if he trimmed her.  And besides, our regular shoer, Tony, was coming next week with the vet.  He told us it might be smart to have the vet out, as she might need  to be medicated for her first trimming or shoeing. Tony had told us it was safest way to shoe her the first time.

But Mike made up lies saying his way is safer and there was no danger in what he was about to do. My mom and I believed him. He got Tinker Bell out. She kept on trying to run him over so Mike took her to our round pen. He got behind her with the lead rope and tried to flip her over backwards and cow tie her.   It took him 4 tries until he cow tied her and trimmed her feet.

When he was done, Mike untied her. He said, "stand back," but Tinker Bell couldn't get up. Then with all her might she tried to stand.. When she was standing, Mike pushed her left leg. It swung back and fourth. When it stopped, I felt my fast beating heart. Mike said, I think her leg is broken."

I ran to my house like a tornado was coming to get me. As soon as I got to the back door I fell to my knees and laid on the dirt covered kitchen floor crying like the Seattle rain.  Thinking in my mind, "this isn't happening, this horrible instant is just a bad nightmare." My stepdad , Don, helped me to my feet and was trying to ease my tears.

After a while I stopped and we went back outside. Tinker Bell's eyes are what I saw first.  They were an off-white color, like two ghosts crying on their keens like they were in pain.   Mike last words were, "the shoeings are free, I'll come back tomorrow when the vet comes."  Then he looked at me with his vacant dark eyes and walked away.

That night, as we took turns sitting with her, I looked up in the sky. I saw that the stars made a constellation just for Tinker Bell. It was of a baby horse running through the sky playing with a ball.

I had a dream that night about my 5'2" grandma, with her beautiful long blond hair blowing in the wind, as she rode a white unicorn across the sky with just a little bit of the unicorns long white mane in her ice blue eyes.  That's when I knew in my heart that Tinker Bell didn't have a chance of living one more day.

The next day it was as cold as the first day of winter. Mike didn't come back the next day. That was good that Mike didn't come back the next day, as I had so much anger running throughout my veins. The vet came and took some x-rays. The vet left leaving us with words of encouragement saying it was all going to be OK.  I knew that the tall, 6'1 vet, was lying out his teeth. You could tell by the expression on his face and his sad eyes, especially the sad way he said what he said. He knew too that Tinker Bell was going to die.

About an hour later the vet called and said that the leg bone was crushed and even if we took her to the best vet in the world he could not save her leg.  My mom, stepdad, and I decided we had to put her to sleep. My mom called the vet with sadness in her voice saying for him to come in 2 hours to put her to sleep.

I didn't know what to do. I stayed with Tinker Bell touching her soft white stomach, kissing her little whiskers. My mom took pictures of her and I. The two hours went by so fast. When the vet came he walked slow like he was hoping by the time he got there she would be OK. When the vet got there, my mom, and I started crying.

As my mom held the lead rope, I knew she was thinking this was all her fault for letting Mike trim Tinker Bell. The vet injected the needle into Tinker Bell's veins. Tinker Bell whinnied her good byes. She stood on her raggedy leg for about 20 seconds then fell.  I fell with her on my knees, rocks cutting into my knees like knives. I didn't feel the rocks at the time. I garbbed Tinker Bell's neck as she tried to whinny to me. I didn't let go until my mom gently pulled me off.  My heart was crushed.  I kept looking back and saw a ray of light coming out of the dark and stormy clouds. When I saw the little ray of light, I knew she was gone from me forever.

I cried every night for a year. We felt like there was nothing we could do.

My mom called Mike and he told her he didn't care. So almost a year later somehow we found out that could take him to court. There was a trail in Fallon and the three of us went. I thought that Mike still had that cold look in his eyes.

The judge told us this wasn't an easy case, so he'd have to write us his decision. The weeks past and then we got the letter. We won.

But it wasn't over, Mike appealed the decision to the next court.  Months passed, and then the letter came. He did not win the appeal. A few more months past and we got a check in the mail.  But the money just didn't seem of much value. We still cry every time we think of that cold December day.

My mom wrote a poem, a friend painted a picture that hangs in my room, but I have yet to find any horse that comes close to filling my heart with the love I felt for my Tinker Bell, and I often think, "To see my Tinker Bell running was to see an angel in flight on earth."

end

Ode to a Cold Hearted Cowboy
by Dee Beaugez, Jessika's mom

It was a cold December Day when Mike,
the modern cowboy came our way.

Though he was quiet and reserved, he made me feel disturbed .

Our appaloosa filly, Little Tinker Bell,
neighed and played that cold December day
Her palomino mane and tail glistened in the light,
her light blue eyes sparkled with delight.

Mike - the modern cowboy,
proclaiming himself the best -
said he'd trim her with all the rest.

I looked from afar,
watching as he threw the rope around
pulling her down.

No gentle touch did I see -- only coldness all around
as I stood digging in the ground.

His vacant eyes glared and he gave me a cold hard stare,
his determination to take her down made me frown.

Yet not a word did I speak,
as I saw him throw her off her feet
down onto the cold, hard ground.

He worked to cut her hooves away
that cold December Day.

When all was said and done,
no attempt to arise did she make.

I saw her blue eyes looked up to the sky
and then knew, "God, she'd never be anew.. ."

Mike, that cold hearted cowboy,
who threw our appaloosa filly down,
walked away that cold December day.

Not a word did he speak,
as my daughter tried to help her filly to her feet.

And as I watched with great dismay
I knew Little Tinker would never run -
would never play -
after that cold December day.

I cried and cried, but could not speak.

His words repeated in my mind
"Don't worry, I can take that filly down."

'Twas 24 hours before we knew,
that what we feared was to be true,
Little Tinker would never be anew.

He broke her leg
and simply walked away
his heart as cold as
that cold December day.

He should have been there that  next day
as she lay upon the  ground
he should have looked -
as did my daughter did -
into Little Tinker's eyes
as she died.

So to Mike, who walked away
that cold December Day I say,
"You're not the best,
you're the one who took our love away
one cold December Day."

And to all of you,
entrusted with the care of a Filly,
I say, "If someone should come your way
who's as cold as a winter day,
be sure to turn him away
before he steals your love away
as Mike did ours
that cold December Day!"

Recap:

I felt helpless after Tinker Bell died, and yet I had promised my daughter that this deed would not go without some action on my part. I commissioned an artist to paint a watercolor of the filly, and I wrote her a poem. 

Next, I went about finding out how to take the man to court. 

Our first court date was in small claims court in Fallon, where he lived.  We won the case and he appealed it.  It went to District Court - he lost the appeal.   We were awarded a cash judgment. 

It is sad to say that no amount of money can repair the damage this man did to my daughter's heart and our family. 

I know I learned the most valuable lesson of my life - TO SPEAK UP AND NOT TO LET ANYONE HURT MY FAMILY OR  OUR ANIMALS!